2 Nephi 22

1 AND in that day thou shalt say: O Lord, I will praise thee; though thou wast angry with me thine anger is turned away, and thou comfortedest me.
2 Behold, God is my salvation; I will trust, and not be afraid; for the Lord JEHOVAH is my strength and my song; he also has become my salvation.
3 Therefore, with joy shall ye draw water out of the wells of salvation.
4 And in that day shall ye say: Praise the Lord, call upon his name, declare his doings among the people, make mention that his name is exalted.
5 Sing unto the Lord; for he hath done excellent things; this is known in all the earth.
6 Cry out and shout, thou inhabitant of Zion; for great is the Holy One of Israel in the midst of thee.
(Book of Mormon | 2 Nephi 22:1 - 6)

A short chapter (yup, that's all of it) but so much more joyful than the others. After all the bad stuff comes the good stuff...reminds me of a sister at church who said that the last days are like transition in labor, but you can make it because you stay focused on seeing that new baby...and that's the good stuff.

About that topic...Stephen asked me what I would say to a woman who had a baby, who had great career prospects, and who was torn between staying home & working. I've been thinking about that, and thought I'd write it down, for my own sake--because sometimes I need to hear my own advice.

First, let me clarify: I went to college, I did finish with a very employable degree in human resource management, with honors. Some people I meet assume that because I'm not working, I'm uneducated, not so. I may sing Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star in a high pitched voice with hand actions, but that is for the sake of my kids...not who I am all of the time. When I first started this "Mom Journey" I sang songs like The Battle Hymn of the Republic, The Star Spangled Banner, and Vogue (yes, by Madonna). I'm not well traveled, though I desire to be...but I don't desire it right now. My kids are little (5, 3, 0) and I want to be home. I'd take them, but grocery shopping with them is hard enough...let alone touring Europe or Africa.

So...what would I say to someone who is in the position I was 5 years ago, knowing what I know now?
It's not easy. That sounds cliche, I know, but I really thought it would be easier than working and having kids. I did the whole work, finish school, get sitter thing with Z up until he was 6 months old. It was hard. Yikes! I slept very little, and wanted to see him more than anything. I chose to stay home after that...
However, it was harder! Aaaack! There was no one to answer to, no schedule to keep to (unless I make one), and no one to hand the baby off to when I just couldn't take it any more (before I had a very reliable sitter who would take him even if I was home & needed to get something done).

I have a lot I'd love to say more, but at the moment, the kids are all occupied, and there is much to be done in this home (home maker, remember?). I'd just add that you shouldn't go into it with rose colored lenses. It's going to be a struggle. BUT, the struggles will be worth it (they have been so far), dinner around the table will be attainable, a clean floor will happen once in awhile (yes, not all the time, sad, I know), bottles of shampoo will be dumped, plants over turned, toys stepped on, books read, hugs given, long days spent at the park, or zoo, needing a shower but not getting one, wishing for a nap--and not getting one, it all happens.

Now, off to make my little sanctuary (my bedroom) look like it might belong to an adult.

2 Nephi 20 & 21.

33 Behold, the Lord, the Lord of Hosts shall lop the bough with terror; and the high ones of stature shall be hewn down; and the haughty shall be humbled.
(Book of Mormon | 2 Nephi 20:33)

You know, despite how much I love my kids, I can't help but think that the Lord could accomplish this with a few two-year olds. Thank heavens I don't have any of those right now! Give me 18 months.

6 The wolf also shall dwell with the lamb, and the leopard shall lie down with the kid, and the calf and the young lion and fatling together; and a little child shall lead them.
7 And the cow and the bear shall feed; their young ones shall lie down together; and the lion shall eat straw like the ox.
(Book of Mormon | 2 Nephi 21:6 - 7)

This reminded me of the grocery store today. Why? Well, after our much bounteous harvest, I thought I'd go to the butcher block & get some meat to accompany our meals. I stood there feeling ill. I couldn't do it. Eggs don't bother me, nor does milk or honey, but staring at all that meat made me feel sick. I wasn't the only one...my daughter who was standing by me said, "Mommy, I feel like I'm gonna throw up." And we hadn't even eaten anything yucky that day...just some oranges & granola. Or, maybe it wasn't just the meat...maybe it was being in a grocery store, because after having bought local for awhile (thus not having to go to the store...yay!) I couldn't even stand the produce section. Z--my son, asked for apples...I told him he'd have to wait til they were in season & we got them from the farm. When we move, it'll have to be in a time of year that allows us to plant when we get there, so there won't be a lot of grocery shopping...but then, you have to settle in first, right?

13 The envy of Ephraim also shall depart, and the adversaries of Judah shall be cut off; Ephraim shall not envy Judah, and Judah shall not vex Ephraim.
(Book of Mormon | 2 Nephi 21:13)

So, supposedly, the tribes of Ephraim & Judah are not getting along right now...

Off to learn about the ocean...kids time.

2 Nephi 19, 1/2 of 20.

Ha! A week hasn't passed this time.

3 Thou hast multiplied the nation, and increased the joy—they joy before thee according to the joy in harvest, and as men rejoice when they divide the spoil.
(Book of Mormon | 2 Nephi 19:3)

I cam honestly say I've felt this now. As we work weekly diligently, together at our CSA , and we pull in load after load of fresh food, and divide it among the families that have worked with us, there is a feeling there...a camaraderie, a joy, what it is exactly, I can't explain, but it makes the labor worth it. Perhaps someday I'll feel that same feeling when my husband runs off to church meetings--making the sacrifice worth it. I'm still waiting for that feeling, until then, CSA here I come.

4 For thou hast broken the yoke of his burden, and the staff of his shoulder, the rod of his oppressor.
(Book of Mormon | 2 Nephi 19:4)

Maybe that feeling makes the work seem lighter, faster...

I won't pretend to understand the rest of the chapter. I read it, I see that it says that basically all man kind will be destroyed. Seems a little morbid. When it says 16 For the leaders of this people cause them to err; and they that are led of them are destroyed.
(Book of Mormon | 2 Nephi 19:16)

It argues with what I've heard taught in the past. Usually, you hear that leaders (gov't officials, parents, church leaders) who lead folks astray will pay for crimes of those they led, but this says they that are led will be destroyed. So, really, who do you follow? I mean, this really is a tougher question than we give credence to...those who are being led usually really believe what they are being taught, I mean...people die for what they are taught, and sometimes it isn't the truth--but they believe it is. It IS the truth to them, just as what I feel is the truth to me...so who is astray? In Sunday school, we said to pray about it, but you know what? Other people pray, too, and they get their answers, which are sometimes contrary to what answers I get, about the same topic.

20 And he shall snatch on the right hand and be hungry; and he shall eat on the left hand and they shall not be satisfied; they shall eat every man the flesh of his own arm—
(Book of Mormon | 2 Nephi 19:20)

Here, I must have been feeling a need for humor after all the depressing verses, because even though this is gross, I could only picture my baby sucking on her fore arm, even after having a bottle. She nurses, gets solids & a bottle & then still needs something in her mouth, often a toe, or an arm...I suppose we could say she is fulfilling prophecy.

1 WO unto them that decree unrighteous decrees, and that write grievousness which they have prescribed;
(Book of Mormon | 2 Nephi 20:1)

Hmmm, should I retract that last statement about the prophecy? No, really, I don't think God lacks a sense of humor...he couldn't, he'd go insane.

6 I will send him against a hypocritical nation,
(Book of Mormon | 2 Nephi 20:6)

In God we trust...yet he is allowed nowhere. Hypocritical nation anyone?

15 Shall the ax boast itself against him that heweth therewith? Shall the saw magnify itself against him that shaketh it? As if the rod should shake itself against them that lift it up, or as if the staff should lift up itself as if it were no wood!
(Book of Mormon | 2 Nephi 20:15)

This is a good verse about recognizing the Lord in our accomplishments. Not just our worldly accomplishments either. I just read a paper about the high number of women taking Prozac who are LDS. It talked of the stresses of not conforming, of others not understanding when you choose not to conform. I think the BIGGEST reason we have this problem (in our religion) is the habit we have of forgetting that WE can't do it. We will not be perfect, the men who lead us will not be perfect (yes, they will have their own biases, faults & flaws...they are human), no mother will be perfect, no father will be perfect BUT we have the potential to become such--however, I think that potential is only achieved once Christ comes into play. Instead of worrying if we are being the perfect parents, we need only do our best, I really believe God will make up the rest...maybe an eternity from now. Maybe some of his teachings won't really come into play in the next life, but we needed the discipline now. For example, my kids won't have to go to bed at 8 when they are adults, but it is a rule now, that I expect them to follow. I also expect them to sit quietly when sent to time out, but there really isn't a "time out" for adults (unless you count jail...), but it is followed now. Maybe there won't be the same rules in heaven as we have here--I think of myself as a spiritual toddler. Maybe there won't really be polygamy in heaven (I really doubt there will be, actually), or maybe we'll find out that a lot of our rules (like the word of wisdom...which is quite wise, however) were just to see if we'd obey, or so we'd learn to obey because it's tough there. Ever heard of boot camp? They are HARD on you, but then you pass and are better off for it, and you might need what you learned in a war.

God is a mystery, I can't explain his ways with facts, or reasoning, sometimes even scripture contradicts itself BUT I cannot deny that there is a God--A Father, A Son & A Holy Ghost...three separate beings, who via prayer I can honestly say I've conversed with and felt the presence of. Right now, I'm a member of the only church I know of that teaches me that they are three distinct beings, and the only church that answers the biblical question "else why are they baptized for the dead?" Yes BIBLICAL. I'm tired of reading stuff that says that because it wasn't in the Book of Mormon, Joseph Smith made it up ...and this coming from other Christians! Read your BIBLE:
29 Else what shall they do which are baptized for the dead, if the dead rise not at all? why are they then baptized for the dead?
(New Testament | 1 Corinthians 15:29)

2 Nephi 18

Did a week really pass already? Wow. This week I started teaching basic arithmetic to the kids, since we already "read" regularly. Now, if I could remind myself to read for my benefit as well as theirs, I'd have something going! Anyhow, onto what I came here to do: learn about God.

3 And I went unto the prophetess; and she conceived and bare a son. Then said the Lord to me: Call his name, Maher-shalal-hash-baz.
(Book of Mormon | 2 Nephi 18:3)

Correct me if I'm wrong (please!), but is Isaiah here saying that he is the father of Maher-shalal-hash-baz? Say that ten times fast. Whew! Throughout Isaiah, he does talk of his wife as being his prophetess (I love that, so different from the words of Paul...what was his problem? Someday, I hope to find out that Paul's words were misunderstood, or not translated correctly...most of the time I feel he is a bigot, and too many women & children have suffered at the hands of their husbands because of his words--I still keep hoping they weren't his words. Luckily, modern day prophets have pointed out the words that contradict such teachings, and my husband has figured out the worth of a companion, not a servant. I love that man. Stephen, you are the best! You'd make millions if you taught men how to treat their wives.)

11 For the Lord spake thus to me with a strong hand, and instructed me that I should not walk in the way of this people, saying:
12 Say ye not, A confederacy, to all to whom this people shall say, A confederacy; neither fear ye their fear, nor be afraid.
13 Sanctify the Lord of Hosts himself, and let him be your fear, and let him be your dread.
14 And he shall be for a sanctuary; but for a stone of stumbling, and for a rock of offense to both the houses of Israel, for a gin and a snare to the inhabitants of Jerusalem.
15 And many among them shall stumble and fall, and be broken, and be snared, and be taken.
(Book of Mormon | 2 Nephi 18:11 - 15)

I read this thinking of our little family. I'm often tempted to do other than what I am commanded to do with my children. For example, after much prayer, I really feel like I need to home school. When I study, I feel the same, but then it feels like the criticism of friends has a much stronger hold than the words of God, at times. Which is why I must repeatedly return to the scriptures and keep myself on this path. I know it will be hard. There's no doubt in my mind...I'm being given an obvious parenting stumbling block BUT I believe we will learn so much as a family, and grow so much as people, that we will not regret taking the path less traveled. Ahhh, Robert Frost (1915):
Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth.

Then took the other, as just as fair,
And having perhaps the better claim,
Because it was grassy and wanted wear;
Though as for that the passing there
Had worn them really about the same.

And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black.
Oh, I kept the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on to way,
I doubted if I should ever come back.

I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I--
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.

Now, I must add here that the decisions I come to for my family are not necessarily in any way the perfect solution for another, and as times change, what is perfect for our family may change as well. We really all need to turn to God & let him guide our path, putting our opinions & wishes for ease at bay. I frequently think to myself that our home would be cleaner, our lives more simple if we just put the kids in school, or maybe I could rest more & not care so much about the house and just enjoy them...but I keep feeling there has to be a balance I have yet to find, one where I'm not so tired & I feel like I accomplished something. It's an odd feeling to be excited about a clean floor, but I am to that point. BUT, as I read my favorite book of scripture, Proverbs, I determined that there must be more to life than clean...
4 Where no oxen are, the crib is clean: but much increase is by the strength of the ox.
(Old Testament | Proverbs 14:4)

Let's rephrase that:
Where no children are, the house is clean: but much increase (in spirituality, love, knowledge) is by the presence of the children. I feel justified in this rephrase, as it follows this verse:

1 EVERY wise woman buildeth her house: but the foolish plucketh it down with her hands.
(Old Testament | Proverbs 14:1)

I've also been wondering how I could answer to someone when they question my family's decision to home school. I often feel put on the spot, because I don't want to offend them by saying that I don't think public school is good enough (since obviously, they do), and I don't want to belittle my decision, either. It's important to me that my children know that I'm as convinced of my actions as I say I am, and how can I show them this if I downplay our decision when others ask (in front of them?). As I read in chapter 18 (of 2 Nephi) today, I came up with my answer.

"I home school because I feel guided by the Lord that it is the right thing for my family to do. No literature, for or against keeping my children at home will change that conviction. When the Lord asks me to do something I know he will provide a way to do so, even if it pushes me to my limits. If he happens lead our family in another direction in the future, then we will go, but with the spirit of obedience--not of arrogance that our way is better, or with shame that our way is odd, but pure, humble obedience."
OK, so I won't give that whole speech each time I'm asked, but you get the gist.

Reading Detour...oh, and 2 Nephi 17

I have been studying. But, not what I set out to study. No, I've been studying how to better put our finances in order. Not that there's much to juggle with right now, but that is the point. I'd been reading that God gives us little amounts of things to see how we do with it, then if we are wise and do well, he may give us more (trials, resources, blessings, whatever), and I was reading the parable of the talents. I decided that I really hadn't mastered living with what I already had. I suppose some people say that the only way for things to work out is to get more, but I'm beginning to disagree. As I have been studying on how to be a wise steward, and putting ideas to use, despite the lack of increase in means, I feel we have been much more balanced and have done quite well. Not only do I refer to monetary means, but time as well. How to be a steward over the time that God has given me on this earth. We all pretty much get the same 24 hours in a day. We really do choose what to do with it. I used to think that my day was so filled with hours of child rearing that I didn't have time to do other things (clean, exercise, etc.), but then I realized that first, even if that was the case I couldn't whine because I am the one who decided to invite those children to take of my time, and second, they are really well behaved children, who, if I asked them to read quietly while I used the treadmill--would. They would also welcome a jaunt to the park, or even the chance to help mommy clean up a bit. So, my excuses were null & void the moment they left my lips. Especially given how great my kids are.

I'm reading a few things that have been really beneficial to me, and I must recommend:
Take Back Your Time
The Richest Man In Babylon
It's All TOO MUCH!

I must say, it's been an adventure. So, now, on to my scripture study.

And his heart was moved, and the heart of his people, as the trees of the wood are moved with the wind.
(Book of Mormon | 2 Nephi 17:2)

How poetic! I love the words of Isaiah even if they are hard to understand sometimes. But, how could you not love this line?

And he said: Hear ye now, O house of David; is it a small thing for you to weary men, but will ye weary my God also?
(Book of Mormon | 2 Nephi 17:13)

I read this after a particularly long day with the children...weary? Yes, I suppose I was. Didn't mean I loved them any less. Lines like this make me wonder how people can think that God does not have human traits...
I believe whole heartedly that he really does have a body of flesh & bone, that he is literally my first father, that he loves me, and wants me to progress until I know all that he knows. I believe he gets tired, I believe that sometimes, he lets us have our way even when it is not good for us, just like I give in to my children when they beg for a treat at the end of a long day. I take the scriptures very literally when they say that the Lord was wearied by his children. How could he not be? Look at us! Watch the news...wouldn't you be thrashed if your kids were at war? I believe he hates it when we fight in the name of religion, mainly because it's all semantics. The Golden Rule, The Ten commandments, karma...they all boil down to the same thing. Allah, God, Yaweh, Heavenly Father...it's still him. We're fighting these religious fights over words. We're killing over words. It'd be like me killing you for saying azure instead of blue. Nuts!

Behold, a virgin shall conceive, and shall bear a son, and shall call his name Immanuel.
15 Butter and honey shall he eat, that he may know to refuse the evil and to choose the good.
(Book of Mormon | 2 Nephi 17:14 - 15)

Heh, don't show my kids this scripture, they will say it's a testament against turnips. I almost think my husband would agree...
No, but really, on the side of raising children, this scripture reminds me of a quote by a religious guy I enjoy reading:
"Loving people live in a loving world. Hostile people live in a hostile world. But it's the same world. How come?" Dr. Wayne Dyer

2 Nephi 14, 15 & 16

1 AND in that day, seven women shall take hold of one man, saying: We will eat our own bread, and wear our own apparel; only let us be called by thy name to take away our reproach.
(Book of Mormon | 2 Nephi 14:1)

The world would have to change quite a bit to get women to feel like they "need" to be married. It seems to have gone by the wayside. Which is sad...not just from the lonely individual's point of view either. A good working marriage, where the couple delineates their roles, cooperates constantly, and looks out for the other members of the family moreso than self, can create a productive, peaceful society. This doesn't mean that mom (or dad) is wiped out in caring for everyone in the family...because while she (or he) is giving her all, the other members are helping just as worried about her as she is about them.

Now, this is off topic from the scripture itself, but...
I spent today washing the curtains & rehanging them. It'd been awhile. Now, the house smells clean, because the curtains aren't dusty. Nice. These are things that didn't happen while I was working (pre baby even!), so, I can't imagine how someone can do these simple, yet important things if they are working & have children. Maybe they don't sleep, or eat, or have any down time. This would be hard for me. Plus, I would have missed a moment today that is now golden...tucked away in my mind for years to come. My son read the Christmas story (biblical version, not the one on HBO) to his sisters and I today, and when he ended he said, "C, how did that make you feel inside? Do you feel that good feeling when I read about Jesus?"
"Yes, I do, " says C.
"Heavenly Father & Jesus love us, C. Yay for that! You know what? I think I love them, too."
"Yup," says C.

Now, on to the scriptures I was reading...
5 And the Lord will create upon every dwelling–place of mount Zion, and upon her assemblies, a cloud and smoke by day and the shining of a flaming fire by night; for upon all the glory of Zion shall be a defence.
6 And there shall be a tabernacle for a shadow in the daytime from the heat, and for a place of refuge, and a covert from storm and from rain.
(Book of Mormon | 2 Nephi 14:5 - 6)

A defense from what? Maybe I'm missing something here, but I thought this was after Christ came, and judgement was passed...so what do we need defense from?

8 Wo unto them that join house to house, till there can be no place, that they may be placed alone in the midst of the earth!
(Book of Mormon | 2 Nephi 15:8)

Ha, off topic, but this made me think--get a house, even a small one where your family can be alone...no more apartments! No offense to apartment dwellers, I may even have to again someday, but that's what it made me think of.

That say: Let him make speed, hasten his work, that we may see it;
(Book of Mormon | 2 Nephi 15:19)
Ahem. So, I truly sin in my wishes that the end would just come, that I can finally understand all things.

that put bitter for sweet, and sweet for bitter!
(Book of Mormon | 2 Nephi 15:20)
Don't mess with the baked goods! Kidding.

26 And he will lift up an ensign to the nations from far, and will hiss unto them from the end of the earth; and behold, they shall come with speed swiftly; none shall be weary nor stumble among them.
27 None shall slumber nor sleep; neither shall the girdle of their loins be loosed, nor the latchet of their shoes be broken;
28 Whose arrows shall be sharp, and all their bows bent, and their horses' hoofs shall be counted like flint, and their wheels like a whirlwind, their roaring like a lion.
29 They shall roar like young lions; yea, they shall roar, and lay hold of the prey, and shall carry away safe, and none shall deliver.
30 And in that day they shall roar against them like the roaring of the sea; and if they look unto the land, behold, darkness and sorrow, and the light is darkened in the heavens thereof.
(Book of Mormon | 2 Nephi 15:26 - 30)

These verses seem very important to me, like I'm missing something, but I don't know what.

In 16, Isaiah sees God, and the seraphims that surround his throne. I decided to get to know what a seraphim was a little better. So, I googled "seraphim" and found first, some beautiful artwork of other's perception of what this 6-winged angel must look like. I also found an explanation that if you go through the bible, there are multiple types of angels mentioned, and it would seem that the seraphim are at the top of the hierarchy.

Oddly, however, if you look up the Hebrew translation of this verse, you would see the word saraph (saw-rawf'), which translates to: burning, i.e. (figuratively) poisonous (serpent); specifically, a saraph or symbolical creature (from their copper color) -- fiery (serpent), seraph.

So, had I read this without seeing the illustrations, I would have imagined a six-winged serpent of copper coloring. Which then led me to wonder about Satan being called the serpent (fiery serpent, no less) in the bible...

2 Nephi 12

OK, first, I'm looking for an accurate citation. I've heard that the word "Utah" means "top of the mountains" in the Ute language, but can't find a reference (other than other folks just saying so, I'm open to posts here!!)

4 And he shall judge among the nations, and shall rebuke many people: and they shall beat their swords into plow-shares, and their spears into pruning-hooks—nation shall not lift up sword against nation, neither shall they learn war any more.
(Book of Mormon | 2 Nephi 12:4)

I keep wishing for this day. But, I'm not convinced it'll happen in my lifetime. It feels like we have so far to go before we've accomplished enough. And yet, I'm hopeful that because I don't expect it, it will come BECAUSE we don't expect it...get what I mean?

22 Cease ye from man, whose breath is in his nostrils; for wherein is he to be accounted of?
(Book of Mormon | 2 Nephi 12:22)

I'm not sure why I keep having to be reminded...I can pray and get answers, I don't need to search every man's opinion. It seems everytime I start reading the scriptures again, I get a strong impression to homeschool following my heart, meaning to not pick a set curriculum but to pick and choose prayerfully what each child will need to learn and experience. Yet, then I get nervous & I start reading every homeschooling book & then I get confused because everyone has a different theory, then I pray about which one I should use, and I get that strong impression to leave it alone & just go with the flow. I'll learn someday, I know I will. God must get so annoyed & frustrated with me sometimes. I'm just like my kids--I either dilly dally or out right defy. I keep pleading, "please obey, it is for the best!" and God keeps pleading, "please obey, it is for the best!" I will learn.

4 And I will give children unto them to be their princes, and babes shall rule over them.
(Book of Mormon | 2 Nephi 13:4)

Personally, I can see this happening. It's about time kids got the upper hand. They are so great at not making an exception (if sugar isn't good for us, why do we eat it ater dinner? if we have to try something until we like it, you should, too...even if it is sprinkles--aren't you teaching us to like everything?)

5 And the people shall be oppressed, every one by another, and every one by his neighbor; the child shall behave himself proudly against the ancient, and the base against the honorable.
(Book of Mormon | 2 Nephi 13:5)

This is occuring already. Neighbors afraid of each other, or afraid to be themselves based on what a neighbor might think. Children lacking respect for their elders, making fun of the elderly. Those who are, well, base, are definitely not respecting those who deserve it. It seems disrespect is everywhere. Manners are a thing of the past, the media bashes on almost anyform of leadership, people stop caring because they think all leaders are corrupt...I could go on, but I won't.

12 And my people, children are their oppressors, and women rule over them.
(Book of Mormon | 2 Nephi 13:12)
Oh America, America. I feel like I could put America in place of Jerusalem and it would fit in Isaiah. I probably should expound here, but I lack time (kids & dinner call).