Update

I'm not completely gone! Lately, my sweet husband & I have been reading the Bible together at the end of our day. It's been a most wonderful experience to be able to sit & read & learn together. I love the discussions we have had, even when we don't get through many verses. We've only made it into Leviticus (we started on page one of the Old Testament, and are going verse by verse), but I would not trade our time together for anything! He's such a great person to discuss with, and I believe this puts us on the same page each evening, allowing us to work towards our common goals together better than before.

It's days like this that make me realize that I'm more than exited to spend eternity with him.

Omni

This book seemed so choppy. (Seemed? OK it IS choppy). A few things did catch my eye, though:

7 Wherefore, the Lord did visit them in great judgment; nevertheless, he did spare the righteous that they should not perish, but did deliver them out of the hands of their enemies.
8 And it came to pass that I did deliver the plates unto my brother Chemish.
9 Now I, Chemish, write what few things I write, in the same book with my brother; for behold, I saw the last which he wrote, that he wrote it with his own hand; and he wrote it in the day that he delivered them unto me. And after this manner we keep the records, for it is according to the commandments of our fathers. And I make an end.
(Book of Mormon | Omni 1:7 - 9)

This seemed to me, almost as a witness signature, or perhaps a notary--he just wrote this, I saw it & give my stamp of approval--sort of thing.

Inasmuch as ye will not keep my commandments ye shall not prosper in the land.
(Book of Mormon | Omni 1:6)

So very straightforward. What more can I say?

15 Behold, it came to pass that Mosiah discovered that the people of Zarahemla came out from Jerusalem at the time that Zedekiah, king of Judah, was carried away captive into Babylon.
16 And they journeyed in the wilderness, and were brought by the hand of the Lord across the great waters, into the land where Mosiah discovered them; and they had dwelt there from that time forth.
17 And at the time that Mosiah discovered them, they had become exceedingly numerous. Nevertheless, they had had many wars and serious contentions, and had fallen by the sword from time to time; and their language had become corrupted; and they had brought no records with them; and they denied the being of their Creator; and Mosiah, nor the people of Mosiah, could understand them.
(Book of Mormon | Omni 1:15 - 17)

I thought of our country's current state when I read this. I wondered, if the great men that had founded our country were to come forward in time & see what we've become, what would they think? After reading some old li though, I'm convinced we haven't changed too much.

27 And now I would speak somewhat concerning a certain number who went up into the wilderness to return to the land of Nephi; for there was a large number who were desirous to possess the land of their inheritance.
28 Wherefore, they went up into the wilderness. And their leader being a strong and mighty man, and a stiffnecked man, wherefore he caused a contention among them; and they were all slain, save fifty, in the wilderness, and they returned again to the land of Zarahemla.
29 And it came to pass that they also took others to a considerable number, and took their journey again into the wilderness.
30 And I, Amaleki, had a brother, who also went with them; and I have not since known concerning them. And I am about to lie down in my grave; and these plates are full. And I make an end of my speaking.
(Book of Mormon | Omni 1:27 - 30)

A sad ending. Kind of like, "I'm dying, but please watch out for my brother, just in case he's alive."

Jarom

2 And as these plates are small, and as these things are written for the intent of the benefit of our brethren the Lamanites, wherefore, it must needs be that I write a little; but I shall not write the things of my prophesying, nor of my revelations. For what could I write more than my fathers have written? For have not they revealed the plan of salvation? I say unto you, Yea; and this sufficeth me.
(Book of Mormon | Jarom 1:2)

In essence, he's admitting that there is simplicity to the gospel. I, too, often wonder what more can be given, since we don't even follow what we have. Of course, God has promised us that there are more laws that we don't know, that will give us greater powers and abilities once we learn them and obey them.

4 And there are many among us who have many revelations, for they are not all stiffnecked. And as many as are not stiffnecked and have faith, have communion with the Holy Spirit, which maketh manifest unto the children of men, according to their faith.

(Book of Mormon | Jarom 1:4)

A whole group (or country) for that matter may not be completely wicked. There can be good among the bad. Often, given that I've felt so frustrated lately, I wonder if the Lord will guide me in the right direction if I begin to stray. I'd hope that I'd accept that correction, and change willingly, to follow him as I need to.

10 And it came to pass that the prophets of the Lord did threaten the people of Nephi, according to the word of God, that if they did not keep the commandments, but should fall into transgression, they should be destroyed from off the face of the land.
11 Wherefore, the prophets, and the priests, and the teachers, did labor diligently, exhorting with all long-suffering the people to diligence; teaching the law of Moses, and the intent for which it was given; persuading them to look forward unto the Messiah, and believe in him to come as though he already was. And after this manner did they teach them.
12 And it came to pass that by so doing they kept them from being destroyed upon the face of the land; for they did prick their hearts with the word, continually stirring them up unto repentance.

(Book of Mormon | Jarom 1:10 - 12)

Again, this is happening. We are warned continuously by the current prophet Thomas S. Monson. AND, even if you don't believe he's a prophet (but I do, with all my heart, as I have been on my knees and felt the reassurance of the Holy Spirit that this man speaks inspired words), the Pope and other religious leaders are in agreeance on many things, and have spoken out in favor of God. Despite the name of the religion, they have things in common, and they are worried about our generation, but have hope that we can turn around if we want to.

Enos

I still have time, so I'm going to read Enos. My baby is happily playing at my feet, making little bear noises, and the other two have run upstairs to play quietly--as I told them too. So, see, there are little miracles throughout the day that I should thank God for. Quiet moments such as these don't happen all the time, but I should accept them and be grateful for them. Plus, Enos is only one chapter...in light of my last thought of how I hope my children will continue my work...Enos seems to make a token effort...perhaps my opinion will change after I read this chapter. ;)

1 BEHOLD, it came to pass that I, Enos, knowing my father that he was a just man—for he taught me in his language, and also in the nurture and admonition of the Lord—and blessed be the name of my God for it—

(Book of Mormon | Enos 1:1)

He thanks God for his father...faults and all (see, he says he knows his dad was just a man).

2 And I will tell you of the wrestle which I had before God, before I received a remission of my sins.
(Book of Mormon | Enos 1:2)

He wrestled. It wasn't a short conversation, by any means. This was a good, long prayer, and I'll bet that Enos wasn't always feeling chipper.

3 Behold, I went to hunt beasts in the forests; and the words which I had often heard my father speak concerning eternal life, and the joy of the saints, sunk deep into my heart.
4 And my soul hungered; and I kneeled down before my Maker, and I cried unto him in mighty prayer and supplication for mine own soul; and all the day long did I cry unto him; yea, and when the night came I did still raise my voice high that it reached the heavens.
(Book of Mormon | Enos 1:3 - 4)

His conversion didn't happen right away, he wasn't a "saint" as a child or young man, but Jacob kept at it. Enos had to take his salvation into his own hands. A five year old cannot do that. I need to be patient, persist, and endure til he's an adult. We'll both make it, and it will pay off. It will be work.

6 And I, Enos, knew that God could not lie; wherefore, my guilt was swept away.
(Book of Mormon | Enos 1:6)

God cannot lie. So, why do I doubt when he says it's all going to work out? I feel his comfort during my prayers, but then still slip into a feeling of despair during the day. I'm either snippy or crying. Arrrgh! Why can't I just be normal?

15 Wherefore, I knowing that the Lord God was able to preserve our records, I cried unto him continually, for he had said unto me: Whatsoever thing ye shall ask in faith, believing that ye shall receive in the name of Christ, ye shall receive it.

(Book of Mormon | Enos 1:15)

This level of faith must be astonishing. Someday...

26 And I saw that I must soon go down to my grave, having been wrought upon by the power of God that I must preach and prophesy unto this people, and declare the word according to the truth which is in Christ. And I have declared it in all my days, and have rejoiced in it above that of the world.
27 And I soon go to the place of my rest, which is with my Redeemer; for I know that in him I shall rest. And I rejoice in the day when my mortal shall put on immortality, and shall stand before him; then shall I see his face with pleasure, and he will say unto me: Come unto me, ye blessed, there is a place prepared for you in the mansions of my Father. Amen.
(Book of Mormon | Enos 1:26 - 27)

Makes me wonder if this rest is the only real rest there is. If we are anxiously engaged in a good cause, will we always be exhausted?

Jacob 7

I'm starting this reading in a bad state of mind. I'm upset about the constant messes in my house, that I seem to be always following behind and cleaning up. My toddler just gave my newly cleaned baby an open cup of applesauce, so she's not so newly cleaned any more. The bread was opened and left on the table, made into "Butter Balls" which is my son's newest snack invention--a ball of butter wrapped in store bought bread. I tried to explain that I don't feel so loved when these things happen. My brain falls apart...but I was just given "the look" and then told "we do love you, we just enjoy this." Is there really a way to make it through parenting ? Without losing sanity? If there are any moms out there reading this and laughing, please offer some advice on how I, too, can laugh again. I just don't feel like it lately.

But, onto the scriptures, because they are supposed to help with the state of mind, keeping things in perspective and such. Either that, or they are just a good escape while the kids are snacking at the table near me.

12 And this is not all—it has been made manifest unto me, for I have heard and seen; and it also has been made manifest unto me by the power of the Holy Ghost; wherefore, I know if there should be no atonement made all mankind must be lost.
13 And it came to pass that he said unto me: Show me a sign by this power of the Holy Ghost, in the which ye know so much.
(Book of Mormon | Jacob 7:12 - 13)

Ha, as I read this, I thought of my son. Not that he is of the devil, no, that's not what I mean (he's a great kid, really), but that when it comes to me trying to help him understand something, he acts like I am some idiot who knows nothing at all. And I want to homeschool? Sometimes I think, "WHAT AM I THINKING?" Funny, I read an article about homeschool burnout the other day...it's supposed to occur AFTER you've started. Ha ha ha. Honestly, I'd rather sleep all day and let them watch Dora...that's educational, right?

15 And it came to pass that when I, Jacob, had spoken these words, the power of the Lord came upon him, insomuch that he fell to the earth. And it came to pass that he was nourished for the space of many days.

(Book of Mormon | Jacob 7:15)

Why don't my kids over fall over when I speak? Maybe I'm not teaching with the spirit. The way I feel lately, it's very well the case.

16 And it came to pass that he said unto the people: Gather together on the morrow, for I shall die; wherefore, I desire to speak unto the people before I shall die.
(Book of Mormon | Jacob 7:16)

Well, that's a little dramatic, don't you think?

27 And I, Jacob, saw that I must soon go down to my grave; wherefore, I said unto my son Enos: Take these plates. And I told him the things which my brother Nephi had commanded me, and he promised obedience unto the commands. And I make an end of my writing upon these plates, which writing has been small; and to the reader I bid farewell, hoping that many of my brethren may read my words. Brethren, adieu.

(Book of Mormon | Jacob 7:27)

What a sweet ending. I hope that someday I can look at my children and say, "Here's what I've been working on, take it, move forward and do the work." I realize that at this point in time they are young, and someday, I'll look back and wonder how it all happened, how they grew up so quickly, and how they became who they are. I hope, that if the results are good, that they will give me a little credit. Of course, as is the case, I know that if there are any results that are not so good, I will definitely get the blame. Such is the life of Mom.

Jacob 6

5 Wherefore, my beloved brethren, I beseech of you in words of soberness that ye would repent, and come with full purpose of heart, and cleave unto God as he cleaveth unto you. And while his arm of mercy is extended towards you in the light of the day, harden not your hearts.
6 Yea, today, if ye will hear his voice, harden not your hearts; for why will ye die?
(Book of Mormon | Jacob 6:5 - 6)

I read this, but I kept thinking that I feel this way, feel like asking "How can I stray?" when I am in the process of praying, or teaching, or serving, but as soon as I get back to everyday stuff, I forget. I suppose that is why we are told to pray always, but I'm not so good at that. Really. I stray so quickly.

11 O then, my beloved brethren, repent ye, and enter in at the strait gate, and continue in the way which is narrow, until ye shall obtain eternal life.
12 O be wise; what can I say more?
13 Finally, I bid you farewell, until I shall meet you before the pleasing bar of God, which bar striketh the wicked with awful dread and fear. Amen.
(Book of Mormon | Jacob 6:11 - 13)

I think, I just got an object lesson (Gosh, thanks Heavenly Father!). I have asked my children FIVE TIMES to get dressed in their snow clothes, because they asked if they could play on their snow fort. I have no problem with that, as long as they do it before the baby's nap time. I told them this, they have been given the chance. I even told them that I'd put their snow clothes on FOR them if they put on their play clothes (they are still in their jammies). 10 AM is approaching, they have not yet gotten dressed. I'm feeling frustrated because I want to give them what they asked for, but they will not do the simple thing I've asked them to do (put on play clothes). The clock is ticking. I finally set a timer, I told them they had five more minutes or their chances would be gone.

Think of this from God's point of view. He asks us for simple things we keep putting off, and yet...he wants to give to us and yet....ARRRRGH! I don't know how he stays sane.

Jacob 5

70 And it came to pass that the Lord of the vineyard sent his servant; and the servant went and did as the Lord had commanded him, and brought other servants; and they were few.
(Book of Mormon | Jacob 5:70)

As I read the allegory of the olive tree, I began to think about what we, as a family, need to do to be one of the few laborers in the garden. The thought came to me that I first need to put myself in the place of the tree, and realize that there is much work to do in making our "roots" strong. I see that, as a family, we tend to wander, looking for the best things to do, and I know that I, being the at home influence, cause much of this. Tradition & routine is a good thing, a thing which I often shun away from, but know my family needs. I need to be more stable, more predictable, more in the Lord's hands in order to guide my children such that we as a family will bring forth good fruit.



72 And it came to pass that the servants did go and labor with their mights; and the Lord of the vineyard labored also with them; and they did obey the commandments of the Lord of the vineyard in all things.
73 And there began to be the natural fruit again in the vineyard; and the natural branches began to grow and thrive exceedingly; and the wild branches began to be plucked off and to be cast away; and they did keep the root and the top thereof equal, according to the strength thereof.
74 And thus they labored, with all diligence, according to the commandments of the Lord of the vineyard, even until the bad had been cast away out of the vineyard, and the Lord had preserved unto himself that the trees had become again the natural fruit; and they became like unto one body; and the fruits were equal; and the Lord of the vineyard had preserved unto himself the natural fruit, which was most precious unto him from the beginning.
75 And it came to pass that when the Lord of the vineyard saw that his fruit was good, and that his vineyard was no more corrupt, he called up his servants, and said unto them: Behold, for this last time have we nourished my vineyard; and thou beholdest that I have done according to my will; and I have preserved the natural fruit, that it is good, even like as it was in the beginning. And blessed art thou; for because ye have been diligent in laboring with me in my vineyard, and have kept my commandments, and have brought unto me again the natural fruit, that my vineyard is no more corrupted, and the bad is cast away, behold ye shall have joy with me because of the fruit of my vineyard.
76 For behold, for a long time will I lay up of the fruit of my vineyard unto mine own self against the season, which speedily cometh; and for the last time have I nourished my vineyard, and pruned it, and dug about it, and dunged it; wherefore I will lay up unto mine own self of the fruit, for a long time, according to that which I have spoken.
77 And when the time cometh that evil fruit shall again come into my vineyard, then will I cause the good and the bad to be gathered; and the good will I preserve unto myself, and the bad will I cast away into its own place. And then cometh the season and the end; and my vineyard will I cause to be burned with fire.
(Book of Mormon | Jacob 5:72 - 77)

In my mind, sooner or later I see the world coming full circle. We had the truth, we thought it old & archaic, and now we are becoming a world of searchers. You may doubt me, but what makes the headlines is a small percentage of what is really happening. Literature of a culture is a good way to see what it is becoming. I went to the library and looked at the new releases, many titles are about man's search for a higher power. Even the business / motivational speaking books have turned toward preaching balance, spirituality, positive thinking in the past twenty years.