A Few Thoughts On Guardian Angels...

I know that this isn't in order with my other scripture reading, but who said I ever did ANYTHING in order? I couldn't decide where else to write this down, where I wouldn't lose it in the mess of papers that cover my desk at the moment, or the hard back journal that rarely gets pulled from the shelves any more.
I had an interesting experience this weekend. It all started with last weekend when I ran the Sunburst 10K. It was a great goal for me to reach, as I've never really been a runner. Anyhow, I posted photos of the event on my family blog, and received an interesting reply from a woman who knew my grandmother very well. My grandmother had raised this woman after her own mother had died of illness. My friend (she keeps in touch as much as family, although she's many years older than my mother) wrote me and told me that my race number was the same as the house number she had lived in with my grandmother all those years ago. She told me that she felt the need to let me know that the thought came to her to tell me that my grandmother is still watching over me, protecting me, and guiding me, and used the number on my bibb to get that message across. I was deeply touched by her statement, not just because it is a wonderful thought, but because the Spirit brought to my mind the scripture “…For their salvation is necessary and essential to our salvation… we without them
cannot be made perfect; neither can they without us be made perfect.”
-- D&C 128:15, 18
“
I do not remember the source of the other thought that entered into my head, but I remembered a conversation I had with someone a long time ago where we came to the conclusion based on something we were reading (oh! If only I'd been a good note taker when I'd find things!) that each person you do temple work for will be watching over you and guiding you as though they were your guardian angel, so the more work you did, the more people on the other side that would be strengthening you and your resolve to do the work of the Lord here upon the Earth. Now, I can't prove that, and it might be the doctrine of Jillian, but it came to mind as I read my friends remarks about my grandmother, as did countless moments when I'd thought I'd heard my grandmother, or felt her, but doubted myself. It seemed like she was saying, "I'm really watching, I was trying to tell you, I finally had to get direct, as the other stuff just wasn't sinking in."

The thing is, I had noticed the other things, but I wondered if I was crazy. Here are just a few:

• When Stephen and I met (actually, we'd met before, but this meeting was our first long conversation that led to a first date), he told me his grandfather had just died the day before and a thought/feeling came over me that my grandmother and his grandfather had caused this conversation to start.
• When my first baby was born, I found myself singing...oddly, a song I hadn't heard since I was six, one that my grandmother sang to me before she died.
  Daisy, Daisy, I'm in love with you
  I'm half crazy for all the things you do.
  It won't be a proper marriage,
  I can't afford a carriage.
  But you'll look sweet upon the seat
  Of a bicycle built for two.
  
  Like I said, the odds of me having heard it were low, and when I found myself singing, I immediately turned to look for her. Was she there? I don't know, but I thought I was crazy.
• My race number. Enough said.

I should add that I did do all of her temple work after she died. I did her baptism, initiatory and endowment all in one day, a long day at the temple.

It's just making me think...and do you know what I've concluded? With help like this, I can go forward with faith, knowing we'll be fine.

Oh, wait, as I was looking up the scripture reference for the D&C scripture I used above, I found this quote written: “Whoever seeks to help those on the other side receives help in turn in all the affairs of life…Help comes to us from the other side as we give help to those who have
passed beyond the veil.”
-- Elder John A. Widtsoe, Ensign, May 1980, 40

Words of Mormon

First, an explanation. I'm LDS (if you haven't figured that out), which stands for Latter Day Saint. I belong to the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. It's a long title, I know, but it has to be, for the Lord says that for a church to be his, it must have his name in it (I'd quote the scripture, but my kids are banging down the door for attention, and I want to finish writing my thought process). We're called Mormons, usually as slang. It used to be used as an insult by people who didn't understand the coming forth of the Book of Mormon.

Mormon was a man. He took the time before he died to abridge many ancient records down to the ones of utmost importance for mankind to use at the end of time. He writes that he used inspiration from God to do so, and I believe he did. From his writing, he seems a humble man, one who is doing what he is asked to do, whether or not he understands why. (I wish my kids had this quality! Maybe if I did...)

His own words are not long, so I wish to post them here, in segments, with my own thought processes. I'm sure you'll notice a theme here. Given this is true, I'm in awe of what the Lord had other people go though to make sure my future and my children's future could take place and be fruitful. I suppose this is perfect timing in light of Memorial Day being yesterday, and I'm still thinking of what other people have sacrificed for me--wondering if I'll ever make a large enough sacrifice to make the world a better place for my posterity, or if I will, what it will be.

1 AND now I, Mormon, being about to deliver up the record which I have been making into the hands of my son Moroni, behold I have witnessed almost all the destruction of my people, the Nephites.
2 And it is many hundred years after the coming of Christ that I deliver these records into the hands of my son; and it supposeth me that he will witness the entire destruction of my people. But may God grant that he may survive them, that he may write somewhat concerning them, and somewhat concerning Christ, that perhaps some day it may profit them.
3 And now, I speak somewhat concerning that which I have written; for after I had made an abridgment from the plates of Nephi, down to the reign of this king Benjamin, of whom Amaleki spake, I searched among the records which had been delivered into my hands, and I found these plates, which contained this small account of the prophets, from Jacob down to the reign of this king Benjamin, and also many of the words of Nephi.
4 And the things which are upon these plates pleasing me, because of the prophecies of the coming of Christ; and my fathers knowing that many of them have been fulfilled; yea, and I also know that as many things as have been prophesied concerning us down to this day have been fulfilled, and as many as go beyond this day must surely come to pass—
(Book of Mormon | Words of Mormon 1:1 - 4)

It never occured to me before as I read this that he was writing AFTER the first coming of Christ, and that he then states that there are many prophicies that need to take place before the second coming, that had already occured at this time! So, things were already going and underway before this dispensation started. I got a feeling that we are farther along than I'd previously thought, and rather than worry me, it excited me.

5 Wherefore, I chose these things, to finish my record upon them, which remainder of my record I shall take from the plates of Nephi; and I cannot write the hundredth part of the things of my people.
6 But behold, I shall take these plates, which contain these prophesyings and revelations, and put them with the remainder of my record, for they are choice unto me; and I know they will be choice unto my brethren.
7 And I do this for a wise purpose; for thus it whispereth me, according to the workings of the Spirit of the Lord which is in me. And now, I do not know all things; but the Lord knoweth all things which are to come; wherefore, he worketh in me to do according to his will.
8 And my prayer to God is concerning my brethren, that they may once again come to the knowledge of God, yea, the redemption of Christ; that they may once again be a delightsome people.
9 And now I, Mormon, proceed to finish out my record, which I take from the plates of Nephi; and I make it according to the knowledge and the understanding which God has given me.
10 Wherefore, it came to pass that after Amaleki had delivered up these plates into the hands of king Benjamin, he took them and put them with the other plates, which contained records which had been handed down by the kings, from generation to generation until the days of king Benjamin.
11 And they were handed down from king Benjamin, from generation to generation until they have fallen into my hands. And I, Mormon, pray to God that they may be preserved from this time henceforth. And I know that they will be preserved; for there are great things written upon them, out of which my people and their brethren shall be judged at the great and last day, according to the word of God which is written.
(Book of Mormon | Words of Mormon 1:5 - 11)

I love how he admits there just isn't time to do everything, but that he has to pick the best--the best out of the history, the best of the Lord's commandments, the most important of it all. But he doesn't do it by his opinion, he communes with the Lord. This was an answer to prayer for me, as I often look at all the homeschooling options available, and wonder what to cover for our children (beyond the basics of reading, writing and math, of course). I've concluded from this passage of scripture that I need to pray about each child, not try to teach all of them the same thing, and not to judge other homeschooler's choices for their children (despite their want to argue over methods at times--which is all in thinking that what was confirmed to them as the best choice should be that way for all).

Yes, teaching each child individually is going to be harder, but I feel that each child has a different purpose in life, a different road to take, different tasks the Lord would have them accomplish, and they will each need different skills to do so. The only way I can prepare them to fulfill the roles the Lord has in mind for them is to follow his promptings as I teach them. What will be right for one, will not be right for another.

Enos, again.

I read a quick few verses in Enos, because I was in a hurry and knew I needed some scripture in my brain today.
The thing that stuck out the most was that God tells Enos that He cannot lie, or He would cease to be God. He's honest with us. It made me think of when people say that God did not answer their prayers...I often wonder if they really mean that God didn't answer them the way they wanted to have them answered. I know that happens to me. Sometimes, God says no. He has to. Some things aren't really for our best interest.
I saw a tiny bit of Evan Almighty the other day at my mother's. I know, I'm out of the movie loop, since it's the first time I've seen it. The part I saw was about this very thing. Jim Carey (or the guy he plays--Evan, right?) just answers YES to everyone's prayer. And the world goes horribly wrong. It makes sense. Can you imagine giving your children everything they want? At any time?
I can, and it's not pretty.

So, at this point in time, despite the fact that sometimes I get frustrated, let me publicly say, "Thank you, God, for always being honest with me, and telling me when it just can't be."

Update

I'm not completely gone! Lately, my sweet husband & I have been reading the Bible together at the end of our day. It's been a most wonderful experience to be able to sit & read & learn together. I love the discussions we have had, even when we don't get through many verses. We've only made it into Leviticus (we started on page one of the Old Testament, and are going verse by verse), but I would not trade our time together for anything! He's such a great person to discuss with, and I believe this puts us on the same page each evening, allowing us to work towards our common goals together better than before.

It's days like this that make me realize that I'm more than exited to spend eternity with him.

Omni

This book seemed so choppy. (Seemed? OK it IS choppy). A few things did catch my eye, though:

7 Wherefore, the Lord did visit them in great judgment; nevertheless, he did spare the righteous that they should not perish, but did deliver them out of the hands of their enemies.
8 And it came to pass that I did deliver the plates unto my brother Chemish.
9 Now I, Chemish, write what few things I write, in the same book with my brother; for behold, I saw the last which he wrote, that he wrote it with his own hand; and he wrote it in the day that he delivered them unto me. And after this manner we keep the records, for it is according to the commandments of our fathers. And I make an end.
(Book of Mormon | Omni 1:7 - 9)

This seemed to me, almost as a witness signature, or perhaps a notary--he just wrote this, I saw it & give my stamp of approval--sort of thing.

Inasmuch as ye will not keep my commandments ye shall not prosper in the land.
(Book of Mormon | Omni 1:6)

So very straightforward. What more can I say?

15 Behold, it came to pass that Mosiah discovered that the people of Zarahemla came out from Jerusalem at the time that Zedekiah, king of Judah, was carried away captive into Babylon.
16 And they journeyed in the wilderness, and were brought by the hand of the Lord across the great waters, into the land where Mosiah discovered them; and they had dwelt there from that time forth.
17 And at the time that Mosiah discovered them, they had become exceedingly numerous. Nevertheless, they had had many wars and serious contentions, and had fallen by the sword from time to time; and their language had become corrupted; and they had brought no records with them; and they denied the being of their Creator; and Mosiah, nor the people of Mosiah, could understand them.
(Book of Mormon | Omni 1:15 - 17)

I thought of our country's current state when I read this. I wondered, if the great men that had founded our country were to come forward in time & see what we've become, what would they think? After reading some old li though, I'm convinced we haven't changed too much.

27 And now I would speak somewhat concerning a certain number who went up into the wilderness to return to the land of Nephi; for there was a large number who were desirous to possess the land of their inheritance.
28 Wherefore, they went up into the wilderness. And their leader being a strong and mighty man, and a stiffnecked man, wherefore he caused a contention among them; and they were all slain, save fifty, in the wilderness, and they returned again to the land of Zarahemla.
29 And it came to pass that they also took others to a considerable number, and took their journey again into the wilderness.
30 And I, Amaleki, had a brother, who also went with them; and I have not since known concerning them. And I am about to lie down in my grave; and these plates are full. And I make an end of my speaking.
(Book of Mormon | Omni 1:27 - 30)

A sad ending. Kind of like, "I'm dying, but please watch out for my brother, just in case he's alive."

Jarom

2 And as these plates are small, and as these things are written for the intent of the benefit of our brethren the Lamanites, wherefore, it must needs be that I write a little; but I shall not write the things of my prophesying, nor of my revelations. For what could I write more than my fathers have written? For have not they revealed the plan of salvation? I say unto you, Yea; and this sufficeth me.
(Book of Mormon | Jarom 1:2)

In essence, he's admitting that there is simplicity to the gospel. I, too, often wonder what more can be given, since we don't even follow what we have. Of course, God has promised us that there are more laws that we don't know, that will give us greater powers and abilities once we learn them and obey them.

4 And there are many among us who have many revelations, for they are not all stiffnecked. And as many as are not stiffnecked and have faith, have communion with the Holy Spirit, which maketh manifest unto the children of men, according to their faith.

(Book of Mormon | Jarom 1:4)

A whole group (or country) for that matter may not be completely wicked. There can be good among the bad. Often, given that I've felt so frustrated lately, I wonder if the Lord will guide me in the right direction if I begin to stray. I'd hope that I'd accept that correction, and change willingly, to follow him as I need to.

10 And it came to pass that the prophets of the Lord did threaten the people of Nephi, according to the word of God, that if they did not keep the commandments, but should fall into transgression, they should be destroyed from off the face of the land.
11 Wherefore, the prophets, and the priests, and the teachers, did labor diligently, exhorting with all long-suffering the people to diligence; teaching the law of Moses, and the intent for which it was given; persuading them to look forward unto the Messiah, and believe in him to come as though he already was. And after this manner did they teach them.
12 And it came to pass that by so doing they kept them from being destroyed upon the face of the land; for they did prick their hearts with the word, continually stirring them up unto repentance.

(Book of Mormon | Jarom 1:10 - 12)

Again, this is happening. We are warned continuously by the current prophet Thomas S. Monson. AND, even if you don't believe he's a prophet (but I do, with all my heart, as I have been on my knees and felt the reassurance of the Holy Spirit that this man speaks inspired words), the Pope and other religious leaders are in agreeance on many things, and have spoken out in favor of God. Despite the name of the religion, they have things in common, and they are worried about our generation, but have hope that we can turn around if we want to.

Enos

I still have time, so I'm going to read Enos. My baby is happily playing at my feet, making little bear noises, and the other two have run upstairs to play quietly--as I told them too. So, see, there are little miracles throughout the day that I should thank God for. Quiet moments such as these don't happen all the time, but I should accept them and be grateful for them. Plus, Enos is only one chapter...in light of my last thought of how I hope my children will continue my work...Enos seems to make a token effort...perhaps my opinion will change after I read this chapter. ;)

1 BEHOLD, it came to pass that I, Enos, knowing my father that he was a just man—for he taught me in his language, and also in the nurture and admonition of the Lord—and blessed be the name of my God for it—

(Book of Mormon | Enos 1:1)

He thanks God for his father...faults and all (see, he says he knows his dad was just a man).

2 And I will tell you of the wrestle which I had before God, before I received a remission of my sins.
(Book of Mormon | Enos 1:2)

He wrestled. It wasn't a short conversation, by any means. This was a good, long prayer, and I'll bet that Enos wasn't always feeling chipper.

3 Behold, I went to hunt beasts in the forests; and the words which I had often heard my father speak concerning eternal life, and the joy of the saints, sunk deep into my heart.
4 And my soul hungered; and I kneeled down before my Maker, and I cried unto him in mighty prayer and supplication for mine own soul; and all the day long did I cry unto him; yea, and when the night came I did still raise my voice high that it reached the heavens.
(Book of Mormon | Enos 1:3 - 4)

His conversion didn't happen right away, he wasn't a "saint" as a child or young man, but Jacob kept at it. Enos had to take his salvation into his own hands. A five year old cannot do that. I need to be patient, persist, and endure til he's an adult. We'll both make it, and it will pay off. It will be work.

6 And I, Enos, knew that God could not lie; wherefore, my guilt was swept away.
(Book of Mormon | Enos 1:6)

God cannot lie. So, why do I doubt when he says it's all going to work out? I feel his comfort during my prayers, but then still slip into a feeling of despair during the day. I'm either snippy or crying. Arrrgh! Why can't I just be normal?

15 Wherefore, I knowing that the Lord God was able to preserve our records, I cried unto him continually, for he had said unto me: Whatsoever thing ye shall ask in faith, believing that ye shall receive in the name of Christ, ye shall receive it.

(Book of Mormon | Enos 1:15)

This level of faith must be astonishing. Someday...

26 And I saw that I must soon go down to my grave, having been wrought upon by the power of God that I must preach and prophesy unto this people, and declare the word according to the truth which is in Christ. And I have declared it in all my days, and have rejoiced in it above that of the world.
27 And I soon go to the place of my rest, which is with my Redeemer; for I know that in him I shall rest. And I rejoice in the day when my mortal shall put on immortality, and shall stand before him; then shall I see his face with pleasure, and he will say unto me: Come unto me, ye blessed, there is a place prepared for you in the mansions of my Father. Amen.
(Book of Mormon | Enos 1:26 - 27)

Makes me wonder if this rest is the only real rest there is. If we are anxiously engaged in a good cause, will we always be exhausted?