2 Nephi 11 Questions

For me, the scriptures always make me ask more questions than they give me answers for. I told Stephen once that I may just be a better Christian when I'm not studying the scriptures & I just work to be nice. Anyhow, a question that came up for me today while reading was this:
If
3 And my brother, Jacob, also has seen him as I have seen him; wherefore, I will send their words forth unto my children to prove unto them that my words are true. Wherefore, by the words of three, God hath said, I will establish my word. Nevertheless, God sendeth more witnesses, and he proveth all his words.
(Book of Mormon | 2 Nephi 11:3)

is true, does the fact that there are many witnesses against religion negate the three or more witnesses in favor?

I'm not trying to play devil's advocate here, really. I'm just curious as to how you know truth if there are evidently witnesses on both sides. My gut tells me it all boils down to the spirit...but then, why do different people get different answers?

7 For if there be no Christ there be no God; and if there be no God we are not, for there could have been no creation.
(Book of Mormon | 2 Nephi 11:7)

I read this line in faith...(and it makes me wonder why evangelicals are against the LDS religion...perhaps they haven't read the Book of Mormon?), but I fail to see how you could prove the importance of faith in Christ via this statement...it seems to me the faith must be in the whole picture at once, one part cannot really prove another. The whole story either has to be real, or not. Telling someone they exist because of Christ, when they already believe they were part of primordial soup does very little to convince them of the atonement. Just my two cents.

2 Nephi 10

Wherefore, as I said unto you, it must needs be expedient that Christ—for in the last night the angel spake unto me that this should be his name—should come among the Jews, among those who are the more wicked part of the world; and they shall crucify him—for thus it behooveth our God, and there is none other nation on earth that would crucify their God.
(Book of Mormon | 2 Nephi 10:3)

I started to wonder...it seems as though the Lord knew who would be evil enough to crucify Christ. He knew that the suffering would occur, it was basically a set-up (kind of like the garden of Eden). I know we hear often that God isn't a micro-manager, but the more I read, the more I wonder...are we sure he isn't setting up misery? Now, I'm not saying that it is because he is a mean and hateful God. Actually, I started thinking about boot camp. Personally, I've never attended, but my parents both have. They tell me stories about how mean and nasty it gets, how your literally getting your spirit broken, only to have it built back up, as a team, with the ability to get through anything. I started thinking about the pioneers, who had much physical suffering, yet those who survived flourished in the desert valley they settled. I thought of the horrible stories anti-mormons use to persuade members to fall away, true stories, but told via a slant of "evil men are in your midst, you must drop back" kind of way. Yet, it seems evil men were necessary for Christ to be crucified. Horrible occurences may have been /are necessary to try the faith and physical and mental ability of the human beings that may someday live with God again. Maybe there is so much more to "getting to heaven" than we can comprehend, that we don't see how trials might be a good thing. I'm definitely not saying that I don't feel sick to my stomach when I think of the suffering of individuals, and I'm also not saying that we should not pitch in to help each other. In fact, I think we should help each other...maybe that is the building us back up as a team part of heavenly boot camp.

23 Therefore, cheer up your hearts, and remember that ye are free to act for yourselves—to choose the way of everlasting death or the way of eternal life.
(Book of Mormon | 2 Nephi 10:23)

Ahhh, agency. It's funny when I read about folks complaining about their lack of agency because they are LDS. However, it's pretty explicit in the scriptures that your choices are not without consequence. Do people really think that they can do WHATEVER they want and not have to worry about anything? Not counting the physical limitations of doing whatever you want (addiction, unwanted pregnancy, broken homes), can you imagine a God putting a creation on earth and not giving any guidelines? Better yet, can you think of instances when parents allow children to run free with no rules? In the long run, those are the children suffering from depression, wondering if their parents loved them. Same with those who have been taught that if God loved us, he would let us have our way all the time...we start to wonder if there really is a God. I, however, have found that the more I learn about the rules, guidelines, what have you, that I believe came from God, I get to know him better. I feel a relationship forming that is almost conversational, a friendship. There are plenty of naysayers who believe I am deluding myself...justifying my obedience. But, I cannot argue that intense feeling of love I get when I do the right thing, nor can I ignore the feeling of emptyness when I fail to do what is asked of me. Even if I "get my way", I begin to feel a little more empty. Some have stated I am brainwashed to feel this way, and that will "go away" if I let myself free from the grips of my religion, but I truly feel that the only thing that will go away is the companionship of the spirit, and this I cannot argue. Logic defies it, but the feelings are there.

By the way, if you really want to avoid brainwashing...don't avoid church, avoid television and media, you'll be surprised at how many of your own thoughts you start to have when you turn off the idiot box. Take a marketing class if you don't believe me. I promise, I got my degree in it...after classes about how to make people do what you want them to do, feel how you want them to feel via media, I turned off the TV. Too many say, "Oh, I couldn't live without that!" Yes, you'll feel that way for about a week...the same amount of time it takes to get over an addiction. Hmmmm.

Detour

Ok, not really a detour persay. Every month we get the Ensign and usually, I take the time to read them, as they are chock full of wonderful inspiration that isn't written in a bunch of "art thous" and "wo, wo unto me"s. Not that I mind old English, in fact I quite enjoy it; however, after reading in scripture for a few days, you can fly through the Ensign get lots of good out of it, even a few shed tears.

The August Ensign has already come, and it came with perfect timing.

The Friend (a children's magazine from our church) also came. We (the kids & I) had been struggling with the give & take of the parent/ child relationship. I wanted them to give in a little more, actually. So, I was pleased as I read article after article to the children on obedience, and I made a comment to Z about how the Lord must be trying to tell one of us something (hint, hint, obey!). Little did I know that, that evening, I would open the Ensign to find article after article about being an adult who had an eternal focus, saw the big picture, and taught with love, not coersion. So, the Lord was trying to tell one of us something: Me. To obey HIS words. To teach with love & understanding. Yes, I was to learn a lot over the next little while. I didn't write until today because I was busy putting what I was learning to the test. I'm amazed at how little changes in me can make huge changes in our family.

2 Nephi 9 or SMILE!

Remembering that this scripture had such simple meaning to me as a youth made me smile, smile at my naivete. I used to read over this & the only thing I ever got from it was:
39 O, my beloved brethren, remember the awfulness in transgressing against that Holy God, and also the awfulness of yielding to the enticings of that cunning one. Remember, to be carnally–minded is death, and to be spiritually–minded is life eternal.--smile

(Book of Mormon | 2 Nephi 9:39)

Now, I read it and don't know where to start. Given, that phrase has all but changed me from a pessimistic, sarcastic person to someone with hope, who attempts (and usually can) see the good coming out of things. This change was no small feat. Speaking of point of view, I found another verse in this chapter that made me think:
20 O how great the holiness of our God! For he knoweth all things, and there is not anything save he knows it.
(Book of Mormon | 2 Nephi 9:20)

A wee bit of that new-fangled quantum physics here? Hmmm? Maybe not, but this is my blog & I can think whatever I want. My thoughts are not canonized. For future reference, the theory I'm speaking of is one that states that what you observe is what is real, since at the sub-atomic level, everything is the same.

However, there is also a warning with this scripture, and I think it's a good one, reminding us that we need to be listening to our God, however it is he speaks to us, and not assuming we know how things will come about based on our studies. God, or the world around us, does give us what we seek...just not always how we envisioned it happening. When they are learned they think they are wise, and they hearken not unto the counsel of God, for they set it aside, supposing they know of themselves, wherefore, their wisdom is foolishness and it profiteth them not.
(Book of Mormon | 2 Nephi 9:28)

Another thing that jumped out at me was the high importance of baptism. Really, baptism by immerssion is not just a suggestion, or an old ritual, it is three things: a commandment, a covenant, and an ordinance. Many things God gives us are one or the other of these, but baptism by immerssion (as Christ was baptized, our perfect example) is really utmost. 23 And he commandeth all men that they must repent, and be baptized in his name, having perfect faith in the Holy One of Israel, or they cannot be saved in the kingdom of God.
(Book of Mormon | 2 Nephi 9:23)

2 Nephi 8

I've had this dilemma lately: buy "better" food (organic, local, etc) or buy cheaper food? After much research, (which, if you know me, you know that I research a lot before making a decision), I've concluded a few things.
#1. Better is not always more expensive if you know where to look. The farm co-op we are a part of is supplying us with wonderful, organic produce for a fraction of the cost at the stores (in fact, it's less than traditional(?) vegetables there, too). The farmer's market is another example of better being cheaper. Grains, though not grown locally, are cheaper when bought in their whole form & processed at home. Upicks provide fruit I can pick & can myself for less than store cost and 100-fold in taste.

#2. About the other foods I buy; convenience items, milk, cheeses, meats. These are more expensive if purchased from a local source. So, I wonder, should I buy them & support ALL local foods? Or, is there something I'm missing? Local, small farms are usually "cruelty free" (yeah, like chopping a chicken's head off at any time in their life is free of cruelty as long as they lived a good life...hmmm?) and they use organic resources.

However (since I'm not for pushing complete veganism) I wonder if this cost is worth it. Yes, it tastes better, there is higher nutrition, but today's scripture study had me wondering something else: What about those who have NO nutrition? I'm not talking about the kids at the soup kitchen on the corner, they're getting help, but those who are literally starving to death? Is the better "taste" of my food so important, when they are getting none? Is a miniscule increase in minerals & vitamins in my food worth it, when they are getting NONE?

What if I pocketed those extra dollars each year, and then sent them to a better cause? I calculated today that by saving $3/gallon on milk alone, (by not buying organic) given we drink 2 gallons a week, I could be sending $312/year worth of food to a starving child somewhere. I read that in those countries, kids are living on less than a dollar a day (if they are living at all), so just by giving up my extra milk money, I can feed another person for a whole YEAR. And feed them well. The scripture that got me on this was
11 Therefore, the redeemed of the Lord shall return, and come with singing unto Zion; and everlasting joy and holiness shall be upon their heads; and they shall obtain gladness and joy; sorrow and mourning shall flee away.
12 I am he; yea, I am he that comforteth you. Behold, who art thou, that thou shouldst be afraid of man, who shall die, and of the son of man, who shall be made like unto grass?
13 And forgettest the Lord thy maker, that hath stretched forth the heavens, and laid the foundations of the earth, and hast feared continually every day, because of the fury of the oppressor, as if he were ready to destroy? And where is the fury of the oppressor?
14 The captive exile hasteneth, that he may be loosed, and that he should not die in the pit, nor that his bread should fail.

(Book of Mormon | 2 Nephi 8:11 - 14)

At first, I was rejoicing that the suffering would not suffer...but then, it came--will he really lift up all the suffering, or is it up to us? Just a thought.

A Day of Holy Hymning

It may be that I really enjoy hymns, or it may be that whoever picks the hymns each Sunday is very inspired, or maybe it's both...either way, I love the songs we sing each Sunday. I love how they fit into what I'm thinking, and how they lift me up. Today we sang Come, Come Ye Saints and I thought of the line, "Why should we think, to earn a great reward, if we now, shun the fight?" all afternoon. I thought of how it applies to so many things: child rearing, health, friendships, marriage. I don't think I need to give examples.

2 Nephi 7

A short chapter, but a good one. It seemed like quite the rebuke, and I began to wonder, "Do I ever do this? Do I ever blame God for deserting me?"
YEA, for thus saith the Lord: Have I put thee away, or have I cast thee off forever? For thus saith the Lord: Where is the bill of your mother's divorcement? To whom have I put thee away, or to which of my creditors have I sold you? Yea, to whom have I sold you? Behold, for your iniquities have ye sold yourselves, and for your transgressions is your mother put away.
2 Wherefore, when I came, there was no man; when I called, yea, there was none to answer.
(Book of Mormon | 2 Nephi 7:1 - 2)

I was reading another book the other day (I think I start too many of my sentences this way, I've got to come up with another way to say, "All I do is read."), and it was stating that we as mortals have such a limited view that we say things like "The Lord giveth and the Lord taketh away" when in reality, the Lord is always giving. We just don't see it. When bad things happen to us, we exclaim, "Why ME?!" instead of "What may come of this?"

I'm not saying I'm not guilty of it, I do it as well, but I took the challenge the (book/website...where was it?) gave to look back on things that seemed horrible at the time, and to try to see what good things have come from them. A few examples:

#1. I HATED the missionary idea. I mean, c'mon, all of my friends were leaving me for 2 years (I had few female friends), even the cute ones. I cried a lot, but then, one sunny day, a man who had returned from his mission entered the picture (Stephen)...would I have given him the time of day had all my friends been in town? No. Would he be who he is today without his mission. NO (at least according to his mother). This is a small example (but big in the future it led to!).

#2. Bigger example. My birth experience with Z. The only way I can describe it is to say that from 36 weeks til his 1st birthday, I was a wreck. Physically, emotionally, spiritually. My memories of that time are bitter sweet. I'm sad that I wasn't my best for his first year, but I've learned a lot. The biggest blessing that came from this trial has been that I've had more children. Huh? Yeah, OK, let me explain.

I never intended to have many children. I was thinking, ummm, one. I didn't like the idea of a big family. I wanted to work, to focus what energy I had left on my one. God knew what I didn't. The harder you have to work for something, the more important it is to you. Z. was born via emergency c-section. He was tiny. 4 lbs. 15.5 oz. Nurses joked that the weighing nurse should have put her finger on the scale to give him that 1/2 oz. I didn't find it funny. Not much was funny. I felt so cheated that I didn't get my "natural birth", my perfect birth. I was sure (where was my brain?) that everyone was out to get me.
Enter in some free time at school. I found out that despite what my doctor had said about maybe not wanting to do that again (pregnancy, I mean, plus if I did, a planned c-section, yuck!), it was possible that I could try again and not have another c-section. I had the perfect excuse to stick to one child, and I decided (in my slightly altered frame of mind, but thank God!) that I would try again! I would deliver this time! 22 months later: enter C. She's perfect, three days early, and the birth was almost natural...I "gave in" and had an epidural (that didn't take all the way, bummer) after a full day (plus some) of labor. So, my brain says, "OK, next time, we're doing this without the epidural."

I'm looking back on all this and laughing, because this really was my thought process. I wanted to have the perfect birth, I felt like I could control that. Anyhow, now I have three, and none of the births have been perfect, but to me, those kids are. I really doubt that my "normal" frame of mind before having Z. would have resulted in me having these three. I've grown up a little, and I now see that they are my life. I could in no way see this from where I was standing the day Z. was born.

#3...I couldn't decide which example to use here. It's late, I'm tired, and I promised I'd get sleep today. No more midnights.

My point is that the Lord doesn't actually desert us. In fact, he knows when it just gets SO hard that we have to blame someone. He takes it. He loves us that much. Think of the last time (if you have children) one of your (small) toddlers got hurt. Don't they always blame you? Why didn't you catch me? Even if they ran into the wall at full speed (don't laugh, they do this!), they turn around and look at you like, "Why did you do that?" God is like that. He's watching, cringing, squeezing his hands together so as not to hold us very still and keep us from doing anything stupid.

2 Nephi 5, 6

I wanted to break out into song while reading this chapter. I wanted to sing the song about George Washington having the chance to be king, but realizing that a democracy is what was needed in order for people to be able to really use their agency. To be at their best, people need to be able to try and to make mistakes, to speak up about how they want to be ruled. Now, I've never lived under the rule of a king, but given what I've read, it can be pretty dreadful (of course there are good kings & bad kings, but I digress). It amazed me that Nephi, after coming from Jerusalem would want this to be a democracy (more theocracy, it seemed, but closer to democracy than a dictatorship) in the following:
18 And it came to pass that they would that I should be their king. But I, Nephi, was desirous that they should have no king; nevertheless, I did for them according to that which was in my power.

(Book of Mormon | 2 Nephi 5:18)

Also, in
16 And I, Nephi, did build a temple; and I did construct it after the manner of the temple of Solomon save it were not built of so many precious things; for they were not to be found upon the land, wherefore, it could not be built like unto Solomon's temple. But the manner of the construction was like unto the temple of Solomon; and the workmanship thereof was exceedingly fine.
(Book of Mormon | 2 Nephi 5:16)

I was touched by the idea that they did the best they could with what was available to please the Lord. They put quality into it, time, energy, effort, not just jewels & money.



24 And because of their cursing which was upon them they did become an idle people, full of mischief and subtlety, and did seek in the wilderness for beasts of prey.
(Book of Mormon | 2 Nephi 5:24)

Did they become idle because of the curse, or vice versa? Any thoughts on this?

And it came to pass that the Lord God said unto me: Make other plates; and thou shalt engraven many things upon them which are good in my sight, for the profit of thy people.
(Book of Mormon | 2 Nephi 5:30)

And God said, "Get a blog!" Considering how hard it must have been to engrave each word (think, no back space, hammer, chisel, oops--metal too soft there...) we really shouldn't have any trouble recording our impressions & spiritual thought process nowadays.

32 And I engraved that which is pleasing unto God. And if my people are pleased with the things of God they will be pleased with mine engravings which are upon these plates.
(Book of Mormon | 2 Nephi 5:32)

So, if we're not too impressed with his writings, we must not be acting as though we are too impressed with God, yes? Hmmm.




7 And kings shall be thy nursing fathers, and their queens thy nursing mothers; they shall bow down to thee with their faces towards the earth, and lick up the dust of thy feet; and thou shalt know that I am the Lord; for they shall not be ashamed that wait for me.

(Book of Mormon | 2 Nephi 6:7)

A totally different thought here (I've heard different interpretations of this) but really, the real "rulers" (kings & queens?) are those influencing the next generation to follow God.

17 But thus saith the Lord: Even the captives of the mighty shall be taken away, and the prey of the terrible shall be delivered; for the Mighty God shall deliver his covenant people. For thus saith the Lord: I will contend with them that contendeth with thee—

(Book of Mormon | 2 Nephi 6:17)

I love that last line. Now to make sure that I'm actually on the Lord's side!

2 Nephi 4.

Wow. This chapter was chock full of wonderful things to ponder.I found goal #2...use my laboring time (like sweeping, folding clothes, etc) to ponder the things of the Lord.

Two sections I really enjoyed:
17 Nevertheless, notwithstanding the great goodness of the Lord, in showing me his great and marvelous works, my heart exclaimeth: O wretched man that I am! Yea, my heart sorroweth because of my flesh; my soul grieveth because of mine iniquities.
18 I am encompassed about, because of the temptations and the sins which do so easily beset me.
19 And when I desire to rejoice, my heart groaneth because of my sins; nevertheless, I know in whom I have trusted.

(Book of Mormon | 2 Nephi 4:17 - 19)

26 O then, if I have seen so great things, if the Lord in his condescension unto the children of men hath visited men in so much mercy, why should my heart weep and my soul linger in the valley of sorrow, and my flesh waste away, and my strength slacken, because of mine afflictions?
27 And why should I yield to sin, because of my flesh? Yea, why should I give way to temptations, that the evil one have place in my heart to destroy my peace and afflict my soul? Why am I angry because of mine enemy?
28 Awake, my soul! No longer droop in sin. Rejoice, O my heart, and give place no more for the enemy of my soul.

(Book of Mormon | 2 Nephi 4:26 - 28)

Why did I love these? Well first it really supported other things I've been reading about moving on despite our weaknesses, to not beat ourselves up, but to repent and try again. Also, to look at terrible things that happen as a possible passageway for blessings I may not know I need, or things I need to learn before moving on in my life.

On the part of re-finding me (see first post here) I decided that although I really dislike the idea of the kids getting television, that one movie in the morning while I run is not going to ruin them forever. Moderation. Sanity. My health. Of course as they get a little older it won't be as much of an issue, because I can tell them to work on their personal school work rather than having to entertain, and I don't think it'll be that long til that's possible (Z could now, we're just waiting on C, and well, P sits and watches me while in her swing. No TV for her yet. Nope.

So far, so good.

Well, today isn't over yet, but I have other things to do and read, so I'm doing this now. I have decided that my biggest obstacle is obedience to the laws of God. Not that I am defiant in any way, but that I really drag my feet when it comes to walking the walk, despite the idea that I can talk the talk for hours. I also came to the realization that I frequently expect my children to obey me quickly, to do as I say, to be, well, obedient. But, as I stated earlier, they learn well from example, and I can bet that they notice when I'm not doing all I've been told to do!! I did, however, talk to Z about God's hand in our lives, and he discussed with me how when he is angry, he doesn't really want to get over it. He likes being angry, and so my suggestion to him to pray to get over his anger kind of upsets him more. I can relate, as I know I'm bringing it up at the wrong time. I should not point out his anger while he's angry. That's like telling someone who is overweight that the brownie they are holding in their hand is part of the problem, and we all know how that goes over.

2 Nephi 1, 2, and part of 3

I'm starting in 2 Nephi (this is in the Book of Mormon, for those not familiar) for a number of reasons. First, Stephen and I are reading the Old Testament together, and I don't want to read the same thing twice in the same day (or week). Second, I've read 1 Nephi so many times, I could quote it, and I feel like if I could just get past it, I could really get some momentum. So, I'm jumping past it, and I'll read it at the end. Maybe it'll be even better after having read the whole book...kind of like watching "The Sixth Sense" twice. Then again, maybe not. We'll see.

Now, as for what I read today, let me quote a bit, and then I'll add my comments.
1 AND now it came to pass that after I, Nephi, had made an end of teaching my brethren, our father, Lehi, also spake many things unto them, and rehearsed unto them, how great things the Lord had done for them in bringing them out of the land of Jerusalem.
2 And he spake unto them concerning their rebellions upon the waters, and the mercies of God in sparing their lives, that they were not swallowed up in the sea.

(Book of Mormon | 2 Nephi 1:1 - 2)

See that red highlighting there? Those words caught my attention. I always read while thinking of my children, and it occured to me that I have not been pointing out our blessings to the children. There have been so many times that good has come from a family prayer, or from a fast, and Stephen and I will talk about it later, but after the kids are in bed. We rarely take the time to say, "Look, we prayed about this, and this is how that prayer was answered, or at least it seems that way to us." It's time to follow through. It's time to point out when God has stuck his hand right in front of us and yanked us to high ground. These kids need to know. And we can't wait to tell them when they are in their teens. It'll be too late. No, I have to start today. That will be goal #1 (see running list of goals at the side). Amazing, one verse into this and I have my first goal. See, this is why I don't study the scriptures, it gives me too much to work on! (Kidding...but only slightly).

15 But behold, the Lord hath redeemed my soul from hell; I have beheld his glory, and I am encircled about eternally in the arms of his love.
16 And I desire that ye should remember to observe the statutes and the judgments of the Lord; behold, this hath been the anxiety of my soul from the beginning.

(Book of Mormon | 2 Nephi 1:15 - 16)

Yikes! He took the words out of my mouth. Reading this verse takes me back to the days that each of my children were born. I can remember holding them in my arms those very first moments and thinking, "How on earth am I going to teach you everything you need to know?" I think anxiety is putting it lightly. Try outright panic.

19 O my sons, that these things might not come upon you, but that ye might be a choice and a favored people of the Lord. But behold, his will be done; for his ways are righteousness forever.
20 And he hath said that: Inasmuch as ye shall keep my commandments ye shall prosper in the land; but inasmuch as ye will not keep my commandments ye shall be cut off from my presence.
21 And now that my soul might have joy in you, and that my heart might leave this world with gladness because of you, that I might not be brought down with grief and sorrow to the grave, arise from the dust, my sons, and be men, and be determined in one mind and in one heart, united in all things, that ye may not come down into captivity;

(Book of Mormon | 2 Nephi 1:19 - 21)

Honestly, I'm not seeing how prospering in the land is the natural opposite of being cut off from God's presence. Do we have to be IN his presence to prosper in the land? What does this really mean?

1 AND now, Jacob, I speak unto you: Thou art my first–born in the days of my tribulation in the wilderness. And behold, in thy childhood thou hast suffered afflictions and much sorrow, because of the rudeness of thy brethren.

(Book of Mormon | 2 Nephi 2:1)

I have to admit, I found this line funny...if we get to start each section of our lives with our firstborns in the____, we'd have our first-born in Idaho, our first-born in Utah, and our first-born in Indiana. So, C, sweetie, you aren't the second child! No! You are the first-born in Utah. I'm nervous that we'd have three first-borns, however...do you ever read those birth order things? About personality characteristics? OK, I'm digressing, but it is something to think about.

OK, so I really just enjoy this whole section whenever I read it, because it makes life make sense to me. I highlighted the item I commented on though.

11 For it must needs be, that there is an opposition in all things. If not so, my first–born in the wilderness, righteousness could not be brought to pass, neither wickedness, neither holiness nor misery, neither good nor bad. Wherefore, all things must needs be a compound in one; wherefore, if it should be one body it must needs remain as dead, having no life neither death, nor corruption nor incorruption, happiness nor misery, neither sense nor insensibility.
12 Wherefore, it must needs have been created for a thing of naught; wherefore there would have been no purpose in the end of its creation. Wherefore, this thing must needs destroy the wisdom of God and his eternal purposes, and also the power, and the mercy, and the justice of God.
13 And if ye shall say there is no law, ye shall also say there is no sin. If ye shall say there is no sin, ye shall also say there is no righteousness. And if there be no righteousness there be no happiness. And if there be no righteousness nor happiness there be no punishment nor misery. And if these things are not there is no God. And if there is no God we are not, neither the earth; for there could have been no creation of things, neither to act nor to be acted upon; wherefore, all things must have vanished away.
14 And now, my sons, I speak unto you these things for your profit and learning; for there is a God, and he hath created all things, both the heavens and the earth, and all things that in them are, both things to act and things to be acted upon.
15 And to bring about his eternal purposes in the end of man, after he had created our first parents, and the beasts of the field and the fowls of the air, and in fine, all things which are created, it must needs be that there was an opposition; even the forbidden fruit in opposition to the tree of life; the one being sweet and the other bitter.
16 Wherefore, the Lord God gave unto man that he should act for himself. Wherefore, man could not act for himself save it should be that he was enticed by the one or the other.
17 And I, Lehi, according to the things which I have read, must needs suppose that an angel of God, according to that which is written, had fallen from heaven; wherefore, he became a devil, having sought that which was evil before God.
18 And because he had fallen from heaven, and had become miserable forever, he sought also the misery of all mankind. Wherefore, he said unto Eve, yea, even that old serpent, who is the devil, who is the father of all lies, wherefore he said: Partake of the forbidden fruit, and ye shall not die, but ye shall be as God, knowing good and evil.
19 And after Adam and Eve had partaken of the forbidden fruit they were driven out of the garden of Eden, to till the earth.
20 And they have brought forth children; yea, even the family of all the earth.
21 And the days of the children of men were prolonged, according to the will of God, that they might repent while in the flesh; wherefore, their state became a state of probation, and their time was lengthened, according to the commandments which the Lord God gave unto the children of men. For he gave commandment that all men must repent; for he showed unto all men that they were lost, because of the transgression of their parents.

Is this why people lived longer? Is this what this is saying?

22 And now, behold, if Adam had not transgressed he would not have fallen, but he would have remained in the garden of Eden. And all things which were created must have remained in the same state in which they were after they were created; and they must have remained forever, and had no end.
23 And they would have had no children; wherefore they would have remained in a state of innocence, having no joy, for they knew no misery; doing no good, for they knew no sin.
24 But behold, all things have been done in the wisdom of him who knoweth all things.
25 Adam fell that men might be; and men are, that they might have joy.
26 And the Messiah cometh in the fulness of time, that he may redeem the children of men from the fall. And because that they are redeemed from the fall they have become free forever, knowing good from evil; to act for themselves and not to be acted upon, save it be by the punishment of the law at the great and last day, according to the commandments which God hath given.
27 Wherefore, men are free according to the flesh; and all things are given them which are expedient unto man. And they are free to choose liberty and eternal life, through the great Mediator of all men, or to choose captivity and death, according to the captivity and power of the devil; for he seeketh that all men might be miserable like unto himself.

(Book of Mormon | 2 Nephi 2:11 - 27)

1 AND now I speak unto you, Joseph, my last–born. Thou wast born in the wilderness of mine afflictions; yea, in the days of my greatest sorrow did thy mother bear thee.

(Book of Mormon | 2 Nephi 3:1)

All I could think when I read this was that if Lehi's sorrows were great, then Sariah's were mighty hefty. Can you imagine the emotional turmoil of pregnancy while traveling in the wilderness? It's bad enough traveling in the city. For some reason, I just really felt for her, and it made me feel a little better. Like I'd kind of been a wimp, but that I could move on.

Where Did I Go?

It's inevitable, I'm sure, that one day every woman looks around and says, "Whoa! Where did I go?" It happened. Here. Today.

My brain finally acknowledged that my children learn much better from example than they do from my words, especially when my words seem insincere. What example were they getting today? This week? For the past month?

I know I cannot blame pure and total laziness, as I gave birth four months ago, and it's easy to get into the sitting on the couch and nursing mode, with the poor me attitude of "I can't get anything done!" Something crossed my mind while nursing today, however. I've been sitting on this couch for almost four months (OK, there are a few hours here and there that I get up, wash something (dishes, clothes, children), or play with my other children. And I do spend time reading to my children while nursing, they've gotten quite a bit of literary time in. Nevertheless, it dawned on me that I, too, had gotten a lot of reading done, and I still used the same excuse when it came to personal scripture study: I don't have the time.

What was I waiting for? A full hour of peaceful bliss where I could ponder and think and read by myself? Didn't I realize that if given that hour, I'd be out cold? What better time to read and think about the scriptures than while nursing my baby. While sitting WITH my children. Sure, I might not get to open and close my devotion with a prayer on my knees, I may not have two hands to write in the margins and highlight with, but I can read, and think, and tell my children what I'm learning as they play with dolls and/or legos on the floor.

Once I decided that time was no longer an issue, I pulled out my scriptures. Now, anyone who has a 2 year old knows that if you leave a book with tissue thin pages open on the couch while going to get a glass of water, that book will be history (no pun intended). So, I turned to my computerized version of the scriptures, and immediately fell in love with the click & highlight feature. I've already become very good at typing one handed (left or right! cha-ching!) due to nursing, so I was able to utilize that comments feature of the electronic scriptures as well. Nice.

So, I suppose this is step one of teaching by example. Now, I've just got to keep it up. Step two is becoming the example for my children. I realized that I'd become a bit whiny, and there's no secret to why. Before I had number 3, I was able to keep up on housework, go running daily, and somehow muster enough self control to NOT eat the entire batch of cookies. Lately, if there is laundry sitting in the dryer, I've done good...maybe going on a walk with the kids to the park (2 miles in 20 minutes? HA! Try .25 miles in 15 minutes...but this is a toddler's pace we're following.) Thing is, I used to run AND then walk to the park. The cookies? Well, it just dawned on me (literally, while writing this sentence) that I've MADE the time to make them...what could I have done with that time? Of course, my sweet husband helped, and once the dough was mixed, he baked...but I digress. We could have done something else. [Disclaimer here: we did reorganize both children's bedrooms today, having built a loft for one, and pulling all clothes out of the other's room.] We felt entitled to those cookies--today. But what about the other days? The days when laundry is waiting to be folded, beds to be made, children to be read to, and I decide to make sweets? My priorities are out of whack. I see this, no one need tell me. It has to be a mindset, and that means I have to set my mind. Reset it, if you will.

I have this vision of what kind of people I want my children to grow up to be. Good people, decent, kind to others, and able to take care of themselves--and do it well. Not just getting by, but knowing how to cook (from scratch, it IS worth it), clean up after themselves, and take care of their bodies and minds. Like I mentioned above, my children learn from example faster than they learn from my words, and I haven't been the example of what I envision them to be as adults. Really, I'm living the "Do as I say, not as I do" mantra, which I've never believed in.

So, with Sunday being the first day of my week, I'm going to strive to get back on track. Back into the groove of the example. The mother who is proud to say to her children, "Do as I do, and we'll do it together." Tomorrow evening, I'll return, and report.