2 Nephi 32

1 AND now, behold, my beloved brethren, I suppose that ye ponder somewhat in your hearts concerning that which ye should do after ye have entered in by the way. But, behold, why do ye ponder these things in your hearts?
2 Do ye not remember that I said unto you that after ye had received the Holy Ghost ye could speak with the tongue of angels? And now, how could ye speak with the tongue of angels save it were by the Holy Ghost?
3 Angels speak by the power of the Holy Ghost; wherefore, they speak the words of Christ. Wherefore, I said unto you, feast upon the words of Christ; for behold, the words of Christ will tell you all things what ye should do.
4 Wherefore, now after I have spoken these words, if ye cannot understand them it will be because ye ask not, neither do ye knock; wherefore, ye are not brought into the light, but must perish in the dark.
5 For behold, again I say unto you that if ye will enter in by the way, and receive the Holy Ghost, it will show unto you all things what ye should do.
6 Behold, this is the doctrine of Christ, and there will be no more doctrine given until after he shall manifest himself unto you in the flesh. And when he shall manifest himself unto you in the flesh, the things which he shall say unto you shall ye observe to do.
7 And now I, Nephi, cannot say more; the Spirit stoppeth mine utterance, and I am left to mourn because of the unbelief, and the wickedness, and the ignorance, and the stiffneckedness of men; for they will not search knowledge, nor understand great knowledge, when it is given unto them in plainness, even as plain as word can be.
8 And now, my beloved brethren, I perceive that ye ponder still in your hearts; and it grieveth me that I must speak concerning this thing. For if ye would hearken unto the Spirit which teacheth a man to pray ye would know that ye must pray; for the evil spirit teacheth not a man to pray, but teacheth him that he must not pray.
9 But behold, I say unto you that ye must pray always, and not faint; that ye must not perform any thing unto the Lord save in the first place ye shall pray unto the Father in the name of Christ, that he will consecrate thy performance unto thee, that thy performance may be for the welfare of thy soul.
(Book of Mormon | 2 Nephi 32:1 - 9)

The scriptures speak volumes to me, perhaps this is why I put off reading them. It may sound silly, but do you ever feel like you're just tired of learning more because the more you study & pray, the more different the world feels (like you're just not a part of it as much?) and then you feel like an outsider, with nowhere to turn, not even church because then you feel like commenting, and people look at you funny, so you keep your mouth shut, and then you are miserable, and then...AARG! Therefore, my scripture reading goes in spurts. I do well until I feel like I'm learning too much, then I back off. Silly me. Maybe someday I'll push through and just learn all I should.

Now, as for these verses, I feel chastised. I've applied to enroll my children in a Montessori school. I've also looked into homeschooling, and did Kindergarten here at home this year with Zach. I keep going back and forth over if I'll actually send them to school. You know what? I have NOT prayed about it. I keep meaning to, and keep putting it off! I'm putting off knowing what to do to best raise my children! Their future is depending on their past, and I'm not seeking inspiration. What am I thinking?!?

I sit and I ponder things, but I don't bring them to God. I wonder what our family's future will be like, but I don't bring it to God. I say trite & trivial things like, "Thanks for a happy day, bless me to get some sleep." AND then I leave out the important stuff that I plague my mind with all day. I should be asking him what to do, putting it in his hands and then pressing forward without worry! So, if you'll excuse me, I'm off to go unload on the Lord, take up HIS yoke, and make my burdens lighter.

Too Long & 2 Nephi 31

Honestly, my husband and I have been reading together in the evenings, so I haven't been taking the time to go verse by verse on here. I should, though. My own thought processes are good for me. It's good to read alone, and think, and decide where I stand, rather than have someone else's input all of the time. Of course, if you are reading with a prayer, I'm sure the Spirit has plenty of input in that "conversation"!

Now, to get myself back on track, I believe I will read a chapter. I owe it to myself, don't I? Plus, it's Christmas time, and where should my mind be centered? Right here. In the scriptures.

4 Wherefore, I would that ye should remember that I have spoken unto you concerning that prophet which the Lord showed unto me, that should baptize the Lamb of God, which should take away the sins of the world.
5 And now, if the Lamb of God, he being holy, should have need to be baptized by water, to fulfil all righteousness, O then, how much more need have we, being unholy, to be baptized, yea, even by water!
6 And now, I would ask of you, my beloved brethren, wherein the Lamb of God did fulfil all righteousness in being baptized by water?
7 Know ye not that he was holy? But notwithstanding he being holy, he showeth unto the children of men that, according to the flesh he humbleth himself before the Father, and witnesseth unto the Father that he would be obedient unto him in keeping his commandments.
8 Wherefore, after he was baptized with water the Holy Ghost descended upon him in the form of a dove.
9 And again, it showeth unto the children of men the straitness of the path, and the narrowness of the gate, by which they should enter, he having set the example before them.
10 And he said unto the children of men: Follow thou me. Wherefore, my beloved brethren, can we follow Jesus save we shall be willing to keep the commandments of the Father?
11 And the Father said: Repent ye, repent ye, and be baptized in the name of my Beloved Son.
12 And also, the voice of the Son came unto me, saying: He that is baptized in my name, to him will the Father give the Holy Ghost, like unto me; wherefore, follow me, and do the things which ye have seen me do.
(Book of Mormon | 2 Nephi 31:4 - 12)

This section of scripture is packed full of wonderful question starters for me. And answers.
The first thing that catches my attention is the obvious need for baptism by immersion. I read all too often of how it "just isn't necessary anymore" or "a sprinkling is symbolic". I really don't think it cuts it. Honestly. The scriptures say to follow the Savior, they say he was PURE and not in need of baptism, but was baptized to SHOW US how it is to be done. I don't believe we truly understand all the laws of God (Heaven knows I am confused right now as to how Moses kills a guy, becomes a fugitive, and then is called as a prophet...I have SO many questions to ask when I die), but I think the Christ was pretty explicit in this whole baptism thing. Honestly, if anyone out there can tell me the reasons they don't think they need baptism (by immersion, by someone with priesthood authority)to be saved, I'd love to hear it, because I cannot see it myself when I read the scriptures.

Second. I have a HUGE beef with the whole God & Jesus & the Holy Ghost are the same guy. In the scriptures above, (and in the Bible, since I realize that some reading this may not accept the Book of Mormon as scripture. That's fine, we'll use
15 And Jesus answering said unto him, Suffer it to be so now: for thus it becometh us to fulfil all righteousness. Then he suffered him.
16 And Jesus, when he was baptized, went up straightway out of the water: and, lo, the heavens were opened unto him, and he saw the Spirit of God descending like a dove, and lighting upon him:
17 And lo a voice from heaven, saying, This is my beloved Son, in whom I am well pleased.
(New Testament | Matthew 3:15 - 17))

Is Christ throwing his voice? Descending upon himself? Yes, I know there are scriptures that say that the Father & Son are one, but I've been thinking. There are also scriptures that say that "If ye are not one ye are not mine", but even as we as a people become "one" we do not become a huge being of one mass. I'm still me, you are still you. Jesus is Jesus, Heavenly Father is Heavenly Father.

I must add that this is not something I started believing after being baptized into the LDS church. As a small girl, I had a hard time praying to a "being". I started imaging a loving father that would sit & listen to me. I saw him as separate from Jesus, who I learned of & felt indebted to. When the LDS doctrine was introduced to me, even though I'd been living in a Catholic household, the doctrine of them being three separate, distinct beings was not foreign to me.

This belief also makes it easier for me to pray. I feel heard, if you will. I feel like it is a conversation, not just a floating head dissertation. I'm not giving a soliloquy, I'm talking to my creator--a God who I love.