2 Nephi 10

Wherefore, as I said unto you, it must needs be expedient that Christ—for in the last night the angel spake unto me that this should be his name—should come among the Jews, among those who are the more wicked part of the world; and they shall crucify him—for thus it behooveth our God, and there is none other nation on earth that would crucify their God.
(Book of Mormon | 2 Nephi 10:3)

I started to wonder...it seems as though the Lord knew who would be evil enough to crucify Christ. He knew that the suffering would occur, it was basically a set-up (kind of like the garden of Eden). I know we hear often that God isn't a micro-manager, but the more I read, the more I wonder...are we sure he isn't setting up misery? Now, I'm not saying that it is because he is a mean and hateful God. Actually, I started thinking about boot camp. Personally, I've never attended, but my parents both have. They tell me stories about how mean and nasty it gets, how your literally getting your spirit broken, only to have it built back up, as a team, with the ability to get through anything. I started thinking about the pioneers, who had much physical suffering, yet those who survived flourished in the desert valley they settled. I thought of the horrible stories anti-mormons use to persuade members to fall away, true stories, but told via a slant of "evil men are in your midst, you must drop back" kind of way. Yet, it seems evil men were necessary for Christ to be crucified. Horrible occurences may have been /are necessary to try the faith and physical and mental ability of the human beings that may someday live with God again. Maybe there is so much more to "getting to heaven" than we can comprehend, that we don't see how trials might be a good thing. I'm definitely not saying that I don't feel sick to my stomach when I think of the suffering of individuals, and I'm also not saying that we should not pitch in to help each other. In fact, I think we should help each other...maybe that is the building us back up as a team part of heavenly boot camp.

23 Therefore, cheer up your hearts, and remember that ye are free to act for yourselves—to choose the way of everlasting death or the way of eternal life.
(Book of Mormon | 2 Nephi 10:23)

Ahhh, agency. It's funny when I read about folks complaining about their lack of agency because they are LDS. However, it's pretty explicit in the scriptures that your choices are not without consequence. Do people really think that they can do WHATEVER they want and not have to worry about anything? Not counting the physical limitations of doing whatever you want (addiction, unwanted pregnancy, broken homes), can you imagine a God putting a creation on earth and not giving any guidelines? Better yet, can you think of instances when parents allow children to run free with no rules? In the long run, those are the children suffering from depression, wondering if their parents loved them. Same with those who have been taught that if God loved us, he would let us have our way all the time...we start to wonder if there really is a God. I, however, have found that the more I learn about the rules, guidelines, what have you, that I believe came from God, I get to know him better. I feel a relationship forming that is almost conversational, a friendship. There are plenty of naysayers who believe I am deluding myself...justifying my obedience. But, I cannot argue that intense feeling of love I get when I do the right thing, nor can I ignore the feeling of emptyness when I fail to do what is asked of me. Even if I "get my way", I begin to feel a little more empty. Some have stated I am brainwashed to feel this way, and that will "go away" if I let myself free from the grips of my religion, but I truly feel that the only thing that will go away is the companionship of the spirit, and this I cannot argue. Logic defies it, but the feelings are there.

By the way, if you really want to avoid brainwashing...don't avoid church, avoid television and media, you'll be surprised at how many of your own thoughts you start to have when you turn off the idiot box. Take a marketing class if you don't believe me. I promise, I got my degree in it...after classes about how to make people do what you want them to do, feel how you want them to feel via media, I turned off the TV. Too many say, "Oh, I couldn't live without that!" Yes, you'll feel that way for about a week...the same amount of time it takes to get over an addiction. Hmmmm.